One year ago, we thought that we would be home by now. We were wondering how we would do Passover in China. We picked out names. We asked our friend (and rabbi) Shana if she would do the baby naming. One year ago it was inconceivable that we would still be waiting. But here we are.
I wish we had good news to share. But we don't. It has been a rough couple of weeks. We officially hit the one year mark in our wait last week (yes, I bought a new DVD - Peter Pan...a bit of trivia about it - Mara played Wendy (along with a bunch of other girls) in her kindergarten production of Peter Pan...really). Judging from the size of the last referral batch (only 2 days of LIDs were referred) and the supposed numbers of LIDs in the rest of October and November (HUGE numbers in those months), many are predicting that it could take until the end of this year to get through the backlog of 2005 LIDs. Remember, our LID is 4-17-06. Where does this put us? Well...realistically, we are hopeful that we will be able to travel before the Olympics. Of course, if we have to travel next summer, part of me really hopes that we will be able to see some of the Olympics while we're there. Most agencies say that the wait will soon extend to 24-30 months; I am hopeful that we will wait less than 3 years, but a 3 year wait is certainly a possibility.
We also have a better idea today of where we are in the process. We are now positive that we are NOT out of review. Without going into too much detail, our agency was asked for an updated copy of our I171-H (INS approval) yesterday. They say that their China contact called CCAA to ask about another client's file, and was given a heads-up about the typo on our form. We got the form fixed back in February, so there was a short turn-around time, and we're hopeful that this won't delay our referral even further. They say that this wasn't an official question, but I am feeling very cynical that they're just covering their own behinds (since they didn't catch the mistake in the first place, then didn't send the updated form last month). Chris is far more optimistic (yes, I know it's strange for him to be the cheerful one) that the woman in China actually did us a huge favor so that we could get the corrected form there before we're actually being reviewed. Who knows. But we do know that we are far from being through review.
On a MUCH happier note, Aunt Marf (Chris's sister Martha) has already begun to spoil her niece. For my birthday, Martha knitted me (ok, not me, our daughter) moose booties. If you don't know, I LOVE moose, and these are too cute! We have also had quite the week in sports. We went to the Red Sox-Orioles game last night in Baltimore. The game rocked as the Sox won 6-1. Saturday we went with our good friends Jim & Bridget to see roller derby. Not the movie (seriously, how many people will ask me that?), but real live roller derby. It was stranger than you could imagine, but really a lot of fun. If I didn't bruise like a peach, I would so want to try it! And Sunday night we had our first softball games of the season. We lost both, but it was so much fun to play again (and fun, too, to go out afterwards with the team and watch the Red Sox hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs!).
A Year Ago
Labels: analysis , family stuff , random thoughts , the wait
well....at least baseball season's started...
So, there is at least one piece of good news this weekend - baseball season is upon us. And in a couple of days, we'll get to see Dice-K pitch to Ichiro at Fenway. Set your tivos now.
Baseball was kind enough to give me opening day for my birthday, and Chris and I spent the afternoon watching the Nats get crushed. The upside was that it was in the 70s, we got to see Dontrelle Willis pitch, and we had a bet going with the guys in our section about whether or not the guy in the Teddy Roosevelt costume would get seriously hurt ziplining off the roof of RFK. Really.
The other exciting news is that I recently launched my own store, selling baseball & Red Sox themed shirts for kids. It's called Baseball Baby, and is at http://www.cafepress.com/baseballbaby. Tell your friends!
Ok, so enough good news...there's little to celebrate coming out of China. The run-down...April is not through review, nor do I think we'll be through any time soon. While it is entirely possible that our dossier has been reviewed, we won't know for sure until the CCAA updates their site. And at least
one person from April was asked questions this week. So no sigh of relief there. There is word that referrals have either landed at some agencies or are about to land any day now. This is great news for the people included...the horrible news is how few people appear to be included. This isn't official yet, but it appears that this batch goes through October 26, 2005 - an underwhelming 2 days of referrals. Part of the small size can be attributed to Chinese New Year (remember, everything was closed for 2 weeks), but I can't even begin to explain the rest (nor am I in the mood to right now). The bottom line is that since we submitted our application over a year ago, the CCAA has gotten through just under 5 months of log-in dates. At this rate, there is the distinct possibility that we will be in China for the Olympics. Really.
Labels: analysis , family stuff , random thoughts , referrals , the wait
Another Month, Another Movie
So, we officially hit the 11 month mark over the weekend. And yes, I bought another Disney movie - The Little Mermaid this time. I like Sebastian the crab. :) It's hard to think that at this time last year I was running around getting all of our paperwork finished (we actually sent the paperwork on March 28 last year), and that at this time next year we still might not have our baby home. Sigh...
An update on our quilt...I've had several failed attempts to sign up for a learn-to-quilt class (really...these people don't seem to want my money...). But I met a lovely woman in line at the fabric store who took 10 minutes or so to draw out exactly what I need to do to complete the quilt. Really. I feel bad that I didn't even get her name. So with her directions and a book from the library, I am feeling somewhat confident that I can do this. I bought some cute "practice" fabric, and am planning on making a small practice quilt with it over spring break. Hopefully I can really do this myself...otherwise, I will have to start begging these quilt people to actually teach me! So...if you haven't sent a square yet, it's not too late. I really would love some more squares...we're very close to 100!
Other than being bummed out about the wait, we're doing well. Softball is starting soon - we have our first practice this weekend, and games start on April 22. I had coffee last week with a friend I met on an adoption board (how fun is that!), and we also attended our first "waiting parent" meeting from the local FCC (families with children from China) chapter. And in less than 2 weeks we'll celebrate my birthday at Opening Day for the Nats! Hooray baseball! :)
Labels: 100GWQ , family stuff , random thoughts , the wait
The Next Batch of Referrals Has Landed!
Happy March! So, the good news is that the next batch of referrals has landed. The bad news? Oh dear...where to start? First, it appears that the "official" cut-off date is October 24, 2005. (remember our LID is April 17, 2006) This means that they only got through 11 days of LIDs this month. It seems on the surface that it is a slight slowdown, though word is that October and November had a huge number of dossiers, so it may just be holding steady. No one knows for sure.
Speaking of things that no one knows for sure - there's a reason that I said this is the "official" cut-off date. When the CCAA announced their new rules a few months ago, one of the other things they announced was that agencies would now have to pay to receive cut-off information. Yes, you read that right. So it appears that this month is the first that they are not updating the information on their website; only on a private website that agencies who pay for the access can see. It doesn't appear that our agency either is paying for this or is sharing the information. The speculation on a lot of adoption sites was that the smaller agencies wouldn't subscribe; this now appears to be the case.
**update on 3/7 - the CCAA did update their website last night - referrals through 10/24/05. They also updated the review room - they've reviewed through 3/31/06...we're getting closer on review at least!**
The other strange thing with this is that even though the cut-off date is October 24, there are agencies who received referrals for a few days past the 24th. Again, there is a lot of speculation about this. Some think that these "surprise" referrals were for families whose LID was wrong (i.e., they were told their LID was 10/31, but it was actually 10/24). Some think that the CCAA might be starting to process further than the cut-off date for some agencies (for whatever reasons...there are about a million floating around there).
So I know that the bottom line is, "what does this mean for us?". I wish I knew. I know that we are definitely going to need to re-do our paperwork with USCIS & our homestudy. It's a pain both with the time it will take and the cost of re-doing it all. And my best guess is that we could be looking at this time next year before we get to travel to China. Crazy, I know. It's beyond frustrating. But I had the most wonderful conversation last week with my friend Carmen, who adopted both of her children. She reminded me that even though the wait STINKS, I'm not just waiting for any child - I'm waiting for MY child. And I think I can wait another year for that. :)
恭賀新禧! Happy New Year!
Happy Chinese New Year! Gung He Fat Choy! (in Cantonese) It's actually the only thing I know how to say in Chinese so far, because my grandpa taught it to me when I was little. He loved to be able to go into a Chinese restaurant (one of my grandparents' favorites) and wish them happy new year in Chinese. Who knows, perhaps my grandparents' love for Chinese food is one of the reasons we were so drawn to adopting from China. Even so, I'm glad that the one phrase I know so far is such a happy one.
In addition to it being Chinese New Year, yesterday marked the 10 month mark in our wait. Double digits...oh joy. I celebrated by buying "Cinderella." Why? Because yesterday was also our niece Caroline's 3rd birthday (Happy Birthday Caroline!!), and there is nothing she loves more than princesses. Her favorite right now is Sleeping Beauty, but Cinderella is also high on her list. And since Christopher went through a bit of princess withdrawal when we got home from visiting them at Christmas, we now have our own bit of royalty to watch. Here's hoping our little girl loves being a princess as much as Caroline does.
Labels: family stuff , random thoughts
A few more steps forward...

Last night, the CCAA updated it's website as another batch of referrals arrived in the United States. And we take a few more steps closer to meeting our daughter. 16 actually. (16 days of LIDs were matched this go around) At this pace (16-17 days a month) we would probably have our referral in January '08 and travel sometime in March '08. The strangest thing is that when we started the process, I kept saying that I had a feeling we would be in China for Passover. It isn't too much of a stretch to think we could be in China for Passover 2008. Sure, I thought Passover 2007, but my magic eight ball isn't that specific.
The bigger news is that the CCAA also updated the part of the box about the review room. Dossiers through March 22 are out - that means we are in review right now. I'm nervous. REALLY nervous. Our adoption coordinator just found a typo on our INS approval (don't even get me started...), and I am working right now to get it fixed. Since it is highly unlikely we will even be able to travel on this approval (fingerprints are only good for 12 months; the approval is only good for 18 months), we will have to go through the process again anyways. (Not only will we have to do all the paperwork again, it will cost us approx. $1000 to file all of it. If you want something to do, write to your congressman to support a bill that was recently proposed to extend how long the I171-H, the approval form, is good for) But I am worried that they will want a corrected form before we can get through review. The real problem is that this could set us back a month or two in receiving our referral. There's no way to say for sure it would happen, but even the possibility is making me sick to my stomach. Here's hoping that the CCAA misses the typo too, or understands that it doesn't really matter.
16 down, 186 to go.
Labels: referrals
A Neat Blog to Pass the Time...
No, there's no news. But I came across a really great blog. A Chicago Tribune reporter is currently in China adopting her baby. You can check out her blog at www.chicagotribune.com/adoption. For those of you wondering how the whole things works, this is really well written blog. Hopefully some actual news by the end of the week...
Labels: how it all works
LID Anniversary
So, yesterday we hit the nine month mark in our wait. Blech. Elephants have shorter pregnancies than I'm having.
Anyways, I've been trying to figure out a way to mark our LID anniversary each month. Something that's fun and helps with the wait. One of my online friends buys a new outfit each month, another buys something for the nursery each month. The best idea I heard was going to a movie each month on your LID anniversary. It's hard to wrap your brain around waiting for 12 more months, but going to see 12 movies sounds a little bit manageable. So I'm marking our LID anniversary by buying a Disney DVD each month. For this month, I bought "Robin Hood." A great movie, and a special movie for me and my dad. (he used to take me to see all the Disney movies when I was little) I'm glad that I'll have a great library of movies for our daughter (and yes, I'm going to enjoy them until we bring her home!), and buying 12 more movies seems like something I can do.
Labels: random thoughts
Inching Ever so Slightly Closer...

So a little bit of good news...referrals came out this week for those who were logged in on or before September 27, 2005. The CCAA got through 18 days of LIDs this month...a few more than the past few months. So this could very well be a good sign. It definitely means that we move up in line just a little bit. Sadly, they didn't update the review room stats...hopefully they will do that soon.
I came across a really cool adoption website as well called Bright Outlooks. If you click on their referral calculator, it will do the math for you about when you could possibly get your referral. If the CCAA could keep up the pace of 18 days of LIDs per month, we would get our referral 12/27/07. Sure, it's another 12 months of waiting, but it would mean a referral in 2007. You can play with numbers though...for example, if they could pick up the pace by just 2 days a month (20 days of LIDs a month), that would get us a referral a full month earlier. If you want to play with the math, our LID is 4/17/06...just remember to set it to "just playing" so your guess doesn't get figured in to their data.
Labels: referrals
Happy New Year

And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words
And sing out loud
'Cause everyone is forgiven now
'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
--Goo Goo Dolls
Labels: family stuff
Happy Chanukah & Merry Christmas!
It's hard to think that at this time last year we thought that we would have our daughter home at the end of 2006. Now we're feeling like we would be lucky to have her home for the end of 2007. Even so, we have had a wonderful Chanukah, celebrating with friends and family, and enjoying lighting the menorah each night. And we are excited to travel to San Francisco to celebrate Christmas with Jonathan, Margaret, Caroline, & Colin. Best wishes to everyone for a wonderful holiday season. --Lots of Love, Mara & Chris
Labels: family stuff
New Rules to Adopt from China
Even though the CCAA hasn't made a formal announcement, US papers are starting to print the story that has been circulating through the China adoption community for the past couple of weeks. China is looking to tighten rules regarding who can adopt a child from their country. Apparently, this is in response to a huge increase in adoption applications. Some reports say that there are currently twice as many applications as there are "paper-ready" children. (hence, the ridiculously long increase in wait time)
We're lucky - we aren't affected by the new rules. Most believe that families that are already logged-in will not be subjected to the new rules, and even if we were, it doesn't look like we would be disqualified. But the many articles bring to light some of the reasons for the increasing wait. The A.P. article that was printed in yesterday's Washington Post does a good job of explaining the rules and the current situation, as does the article from today's Wall Street Journal (which I'm a little partial to since my cousin is a WSJ columnist!) The New York Times article from today's paper is also pretty good. Finally, if you search on google news, there are currently 293 articles about it...choose your favorite paper!
Labels: CCAA , FAQs , how it all works
Review & Matching...How Does it Work?
Well, if the rumors are right, our dossier should be in review now. So what does that mean? There was a great explanation this week on http://chinaadopttalk.com/ ("The Rumor Queen") explaining both the review and matching process (reposted with permission)...
How the Review Room Works...
- Each agency has their own review person. They know how to put a dossier together based on how their review person wants to see it, and based on the things their review person will approve or deny.
- Each review person has their own assigned agencies, or maybe their own assigned country.
- Sometimes one review person has twice as many files to review as someone else does that month, but the next month they may have half as many.
- This means that one reviewer could be several months ahead of another reviewer, and may stay that way until their agencies have a big month and they get slowed down again. It is normal for one reviewer to still be working on February while another reviewer has made it to April.
- The review room notice on the CCAA site won’t show that a month is complete until all reviewers are through with that month.
How the Matching Room Works...
- First, they review the baby dossiers and make sure there are no issues with them. We are told that they then count up all of the baby dossiers that are eligible for matching that month and then look to see how far this stack will go in the parent dossiers without sending out a partial day, and they pull all of those parent files. That is the likely cut-off date. Sometimes something happens and they don’t get this far. Sometimes something happens and they get farther.
- Next they match orphanages up with agencies. This orphanage has six babies, this agency has six families. These two orphanages are in the same province and have a total of 12 babies, this agency has 12 families. When they are through with this is when (I believe) some agencies start to get information about the cut-off date. Or at least it is when they used to start getting information.
- And then they start matching individual babies to individual families. At some point during this part of the process most agencies used to hear from their person in the matching room to let them know how many referrals they will be receiving and from what province(s). Some agencies shared this information with their clients. Some chose not to. Recently I’ve gotten the feeling that many agencies are still getting this information but they are being given orders by the CCAA to not share this information with the families.
- Just as in the review room, each matcher is assigned certain agencies and is responsible for communicating with their agencies. Some matchers tell their agency the cut-off date, some matchers tell their agency “you have X number of referrals arriving”, some matchers give their agency a list of that agency’s families that will be receiving a referral. And some matchers don’t say anything at all to their agencies.
- The next question that comes up is generally how the matchers match families and babies. I’ve heard from several people who have had the opportunity to speak with someone who works in the matching room. The various conversations seem to all agree that they first look for something that stands out: a matching birthday, a baby who looks a lot like a parent, or a baby who likes music and a parent who teaches music. Several matching people have stated they match by bone structure of the baby’s face and the parent’s faces (this is why they need our passport photos, so they can compare our mug shot with the baby’s mug shot). Some have stated that they used Chinese astrology, also. Once they’ve matched the obvious matches they then start to look at things like age of child requested. The age requested is not a priority for them, they feel they are matching families and not filling orders.
Thank you again to the Rumor Queen for letting me repost this information!
Labels: CCAA , FAQs , how it all works
A Little Bit of News (sort of...) and a LOT of Analysis
So, the good news is that the latest batch of referrals went out today. That means that we move up in line the tiniest bit, and that lots of families are finally getting their first glimpses of their children. Of course, the progress that was made was small...they have matched through September 8, 2005...keep in mind that our LID is April 17, 2006. Depressing, isn't it?
So, here's the really depressing part...the CCAA has matched 14 days of LIDs. If it continues at this pace until we receive our referral (approx. 2 weeks of referrals a month), we will receive our referral in January or February 2008. I can't even believe that I just typed that. Let me pause to cry a bit before I continue.
Do I really think that it could be spring of 2008 before we see our daughter? Not really. There are many "experts" in the Chinese adoption field who feel that China won't let the wait get that long. The current number that people are throwing around as an upper limit is 18 months. That would bring us a referral in October or November 2007. As sad as that is, I think I could handle that. There are also those experts who think that the wait will speed up soon. This is also possible. The only precedent for the wait getting this long is during the SARS scare. International adoptions stopped for several months, then when they started back they were very slow. All of a sudden, the CCAA started referring bigger groups, and sending 2 groups of referrals a month. The bottom line is that no one knows.
So I'm trying very very hard to look on the bright side of things. It has been a very depressing two days here for me. Let's see...
- If we do have to wait until 2008 for our referral, maybe we will be in China during some of the Olympics...I love the Olympics.
- It doesn't look like we will have any problem at all making it to Shana & Stephen's wedding in July. I am so excited that I am a part of their celebration, and that we will get to go with our friends to Cleveland to celebrate (and that we are all going to catch a Red Sox-Indians game to kick off the weekend).
- I will have plenty of time to make our 100 Good Wishes Quilt and scrapbook.
- Speaking of scrapbooks, I will have time to scrapbook all of our Paris pictures, and maybe even scrapbook our wedding pictures.
- We will get to go to Ocracoke Island one more time as just a couple.
- I will have time to paint all of the rooms in our house, not just the nursery!
- I have made such great friends online in our DTC group (families that all sent their paperwork to China in April)...I am having fun with all the gift & book & postcard exchanges, and it has become a wonderful source of support as we go through the wait.
- We get to go celebrate my Auntie Edie & Uncle Norman's 50th wedding anniversary this weekend. What an fantastic thing to celebrate, and I am so excited to see all of my family.
- We get to spend Christmas with Jonathan, Margaret, Caroline, & Colin. There's not much better than spending time with the cutest niece and nephew in the world.
- We are so blessed to have supportive family and friends...I don't know how we would do this without you all!
F.A.Q.s, part 2
Time for a few more questions before the Patriots game...
Have you picked out a name? What is it?
Yes, we've picked out a name - three, actually. We requested twins (though the chances of us actually being referred twins is pretty slim - about 1 in 800), so we've picked out two girl names and one boy name (just in case!). And no, we're not telling anyone our names...you'll just have to wait! :)
What's up with the red bracelet that Mara's been wearing?
There's a Chinese legend that says: "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break." The legend is really prominent in the China adoption community, and has taken on the tradition of the red thread bracelet as a means of connecting with the children who wait to be united with their new families. Moms-to-be generally wear their bracelets from the time they begin the paperchase to the day they meet their new daughter or son. For me, it's a way of showing people that we are "paper pregnant", and keeps our daughter first in my mind. (and way easier than buying maternity clothes!)
Have you started to decorate the nursery? Are you registered anywhere?
Not yet. We've been using our spare bedroom for storage for six years, so let's just say that going through everything has been a slow process! I don't think we'll start to actually decorate or register at least until we are through review. I do have a wish list on amazon.com since we are participating in a monthly book exchange with our online April DTC friends. (and you can never have too many books!)
Labels: FAQs
F.A.Q.s, part 1
Some frequently asked questions…
Have you heard anything?
Sadly, no. And we don’t expect to hear anything for awhile. Chris calls it “hurry up and wait”; we were in such a rush to get our paperwork finished by April 2, and now we are just stuck waiting. There’s a great t-shirt I may have to buy…it says “No, we haven’t heard anything. Yes, it’s taking a long time. Thanks for bringing it up.”
When do you think you may hear something?
If we’re lucky, we WON’T hear anything in the next 3-4 months. Our dossier is either about to be in review or is already in review. Not hearing anything will mean that there were no questions, and things are going as planned.
What do you mean by “in review”? And what happened to all that paperwork you sent to
We sent all of our paperwork (our dossier…14 documents, each which was notarized, certified by the state, authenticated by the US State Department, and authenticated by the Chinese Embassy) to
How much longer are you going to have to wait?
I so wish we knew. When we started the process, the wait was 7-9 months. Currently it is around 14-15 months. Some rumors say it is going to stabilize soon around 14 months; others are more pessimistic and say it could extend out to 18-24 months. There's also the chance that it could speed up again. We are being cautiously optimistic…hopefully we will get our referral over the summer, and travel in the fall.
I know there are a lot more questions…I’ll type up some more later! And send me any you have so I can answer them for everyone! For now, we’re off to go walk around
Labels: CCAA , FAQs , how it all works , the wait
100 Good Wishes Quilt
I have always loved getting mail. Really. To the point that growing up Elana and I had a schedule to determine whose turn it was to get it so that neither of us would get an extra turn. So it has been SO much fun to go to the mailbox and find quilt squares and wishes for our baby girl! We’ve received squares from old friends, new friends, family, and the Boston Red Sox (no joke…my beloved Red Sox sent us a jersey to cut up and use in the quilt!). We’ve received squares from all over the country and all over the world. And with all the squares we've received, no two squares are the same!
It is not too late to send a square and a wish. In fact, I hope you will! We have a bunch of squares (almost 80!), but still have a ways to go to get to 100. Please keep sending us squares!!! No, I haven't started quilting yet...I need to take a class first! There's one close by that starts in January...that will probably work! I have started the scrapbook of wishes...that I know how to do! It is so touching to read all of them - thank you!
Labels: 100GWQ
Back from Paris!
We had an amazing time in Paris on our "last big trip without kids"! It was also a good test trip for Mara...sure, there's a big difference between flying to France and flying to China, but now I know I can do it! (can you believe this was the firs
t time I ever left the country?!?) We had an amazing time doing lots of touristy things, eating lots of French food, and drinking lots of French wine. The weather was perfect and we got a chance to see almost everything on our lists...the Louvre (picture on the left), Notre Dame, Arc de Triomphe, Eiffel Tower (in the background of the picture on the right...pic taken at the Rodin Museum), Versailles...oh my goodness we had a busy trip! It was the perfect way to break up our wait a little, and the best trip ever!
Labels: family stuff
Welcome!
Welcome to our blog! We'll be posting updates as we not-so-patiently wait for our little girl. And this will be the place to go for pictures of our baby once we get them!