Diversity

Things here in the Surridge house are good. Hannah has slept through the night two nights in a row - this is totally a cause for a small celebration. Small, mind you, because with a full-night's sleep has come a total refusal to nap. But a full night's sleep has made us much happier adults, so that's a start. I am settling into my life as a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) nicely. Still trying to get the hang of things (ok, seriously - I have no idea how moms get anything at all done during the day - am I missing some sort of way to bend the space-time continuum? Did I miss the spot where they were handing out the flux capacitors?), but it gets better each and every day, which is all we can really hope for. The truth is that the most trying day at home with Hannah is better than any day I ever had at work, so I am still pretty darn happy. :) Yes, even after I took that picture...whoever taught her to stick out her bottom lip and go "ppbbbttt" better steer clear of me for awhile.

Being home (and having some sleep), I am starting to be able to reflect more on our trip and our experiences in China. One of the things that really struck me was diversity, or, the total lack of diversity. We're lucky to live in a place where diversity is just how it is - our neighborhood is full of people from a wide variety of countries and cultures, and schools proudly display the flags of all the countries that their students are from. We can drive less than 10 minutes and have Italian, Japanese, Mexican, Chinese, Egyptian, Korean, Lebanese, Greek, Thai, or even American food. Hannah isn't the only adopted kid on the block or at our temple - she won't even be the only adopted kid in her class. Our world is one where families don't all look the same - not only is it ok, but we love it. China wasn't like that at all.

I noticed it right away. Everyone looked the same. Outside from the tour groups (which weren't even all that different - some groups of American & Europeans, but mostly groups from other places in China), everyone is Chinese. Even in Beijing, when it was just me and Chris, everyone started at us; many pointed and laughed. It was harder for our travel partners; their 8 year old son was mobbed everywhere he went - people wanting to touch him and take his picture at all times. It's unsettling. One afternoon on our way back to the hotel, Chris was talking to our tour guide about cars (one of the few safe topics we found with him!). They were discussing how so many of the cars on the road were the exact same cars we have in the US, but they have different names. We passed one with a particularly unique name, and Chris told him that at home, that's a Fiesta. When he asked what Fiesta meant, Chris answered, and was immediately asked if he spoke Spanish. We tried to explain to him that we know lots of words and phrases in other languages, and he was stunned with our knowledge of other cultures.

In Kunming, we were even more of a sight - now we were toting a baby in a city with very few non-Chinese people. People continued to stare and point everywhere we went. All of us were stopped for pictures, even with our guide there to shoo them away. It makes me laugh a little to think that there are people in China with pictures of us in their scrapbooks, but it was still strange. Chris noticed that if he looked people in the eye and gave them a look, they would stop, but that didn't work for me. It was unsettling enough that we didn't explore Kunming as much as I would have liked. Don't get me wrong - we met some really wonderful people while we were there. I loved the man in the tea shop, who put down his bowl of lunch to serve us cup after cup of tea so we could try each one before choosing what to buy. And the waitresses across the street at Mama Fu's (yes, we ate several times at a cute little restaurant called Mama Fu's) could not have been nicer. I wish I spoke Chinese to tell them how much their kindness meant to me. But I don't think I ever need to go back.

People have asked me why I loved Guangzhou so much. After all, it was the end of our trip (so we were tired, home-sick, and ready to come home), there was construction everywhere, and we didn't see sunshine the entire week we were there. It wasn't that I loved Guangzhou - it was that on Shamian Island we weren't the only adoptive families, so no one pointed, no one stared, no one even seemed to notice. The shop owners cater to adoptive families - each shop is named for the person who owns it (Sherry's Place, Susan's Place, etc.), and they all love to coo over the babies. They want to know where they are from, and many gave us little gifts for Hannah to thank us for coming into their shop (the plastic rattle from the art shop is still one of her favorites). The restaurants all had high chairs and many had "baby food" sections on their menus (our favorite was a little place called Lucy's - so much so that we ate lunch or dinner there every day!). We could stop being so overprotective and just start being a family.

Now that we are home I appreciate the diversity so much more. Walking through the mall on Wednesday (yes, Hannah had her first trip to the mall with Auntie Shana & Emily - the girls had such a good time!) and through the grocery store on Thursday I loved that no one seemed to really even notice us. Yes, a few people stopped to comment on how beautiful she was (like I don't know that!) and Hannah flirted with the woman at the deli counter and the man waiting in line (so much that I know his name was Kevin). But no one has pointed at us and laughed since we have been home. So much of it is cultural - we teach our kids that everyone is different and that we celebrate that, while it seemed ok in China for people to stare and point. (and, for the most part, it was adults doing the staring and pointing...the kids just looked at Hannah like she was one of them, and the babies all gave her a look of jealously that she was being allowed outside without 4 sweaters) I admit, it turned me off a bit to China. But it made me even more thankful to live here in our corner of the melting pot.